I have often been very nervous right before a fight, and I think it has affected my performance on numerous occasions among other variables. But I am sure nerves has been the number one reason why I cannot bring the fight to the other fighter. While thinking about the upcoming tournament earlier this week I asked myself a brilliant question, what the hell am I afraid of? I decided to answer this question in order to confront my fears and hopefully do away with them completely. So lets list all my fears going into a competition, starting with the number one cause:
1. I will lose in front of my professors and teammates- this is my number one fear. Although they have told me that it doesn't matter, I know it does. When you put your time and effort in to someone their performance is a direct reflection of you. I don't want to make my teachers and teammates look bad in front of our peers, so I always feel that winning is everything. It may not be this way, but I feel this way.
2. Stripe shock- this is a little word I made up when you look at the person's belt and judge how good they possibly are by their stripes or amount of dirt they have on their belt. This has been true for me, except for one time. This always gets me. For a guy that has had little mat time and experience, anyone with 4 stripes is a little intimidating, because I know they have some time under their belt.
3. My school is not competition based, am I prepared?- this is another question I ask myself. My school doesn't have a lot of competitors and a lot of our people do not want to train with that level of intensity, so am I prepared for the aggressive guy from the MMA academy or comp school. At white belt level, I have not been.
4. Getting hurt- there is nothing worse than getting hurt. If I get hurt badly in competition, it will keep me from training for weeks or even months. I can't have that happen. I get hurt a lot in class, what makes me think it won't happen in competition.
5. The audience- I know people don't pay attention to the white belt matches usually, but I can still see them and I feel like I am out their grappling naked and everyone is laughing.
I have always had a high anxiety level, it is one of the main reasons I compete, so I can get over it. I get the sweaty palms, the knots in my stomach, and lightheaded...but every time I get out there and do it. I know there is nothing to be afraid of, but I need to really start believing in my skill and get out there and do the damn thing. So to help me out, here are a few videos to help me get over it!!
