So I decided to add a new facet to my blog called Perks and Urks. Mainly these will be things I come across in jiu-jitsu that have their positives and negative sides. The first installment to this is going to be the perks and urks of being a white belt. It's where everyone starts and I'm sure everyone has felt some of these before. Enjoy.
Perks
1. No pressure or expectations: you're a white belt, nobody expects you to be good or know anything. If you compete and lose, who cares. If you win, who cares. It's not like people are even watching. What you do as a white belt, does not necessarily transfer over into other belts.
2. Everything you do gets a wow or nice: pass a blue belts guard and everyone is singing your praises! Nice pass, nice sweep, nice jumping jack form, etc etc. You are basically a baby, every time you do something remotely cool or advanced everyone claps their hands and say YAY!
3. People help you: Everybody wants to give you some sort of tip or suggestion. It really helps your game out so take everything in, and decipher it later. I've noticed that every time you get promoted you're more and more on your own.
4. It's the ego-free belt: You got your ass kicked 12 times on the first day. If you still have an ego, kill yourself.
5. You outnumber all the higher belts: Which means you always have people to bitch and moan to about problems you're having, injuries, so and so being too rough, etc. Your fellow white belts will always nod in unison with you.
6. None of your questions are dumb: As you move up, if you ask which way is the thumb supposed to be facing when doing an armbar from mount...kill yourself. Fortunately for us white belts we can ask questions like that all day everyday!
7. When you finally tap your first blue belt: You feel like a beast! Rawr!!!
Urks
1. Your opinions do not matter: People will look at you like you're crazy if you have any sort of opinion about jiu-jitsu. What I do, is say (Insert black belt name here) said that drinking coconut milk before competition kills nervousness. This makes everyone nod in unison and say that they read that somewhere on Sherdog.
2. Everyone can kick your ass: Next time there is a big class, look out from the line before you bow out and count everyone in front of you. That is the number of people who can mop the mats with you with their eyes closed.
3. You will probably get made fun of at least once or twice: It happens. You're a white belt. Be ready to be mocked, laughed at, and humiliated. If there are enough white belts, you may be safe from this one.
4. The 17 yr old purple belt, seems older than you: Probably has something to do with respect and stuff, but I still don't get it.
5. Girls at the national BJJ comps don't even look at you: Sigh! Some of them are so hawt too. All you can say is "can't wait till I'm a black belt".
6. When you reach 4 stripe white belt, the head hunters come out: Nothing like getting that 4th stripe on your belt. It means you are progressing and are close to blue belt. So what does this mean? Head hunters galore...other white belts who want to kill you and prove they are at that level too. This causes you to either A) always be on your guard. B) Murder every 1,2,3 stripe you see. Or C) avoid their stupid ass completely.
7. You will only tap, pass, or mount a higher belt once: the next time you roll with him, he will MURK you. Never think you did something good to someone who is only using their pinky toe to fight you.
8. You will probably get tapped 5,000 times: that's the average for a white belt. Unless you're a puss and you never roll.
